Week # 2 and things are lookin good

Well hello loyal viewers of the Mitchell Report:

Thanks for checkin this out again. I seriously cannot believe it has been a week since my last post. I feel like I'm either in another world, or just on vacation. It seems unfathomable that I am going to be here for another 4 months. This past week has flown by quicker and slower than anything else I can remember, even that week I had crabs and no one would talk to me... (that was a joke mom, feel free to laugh).

So for this weeks entry into the life of a kangaroo seeking, drink mixing, and class going study abroad student, I will try and include some more meticulous details. That way when I'm 65 and have pleanty of back hair, I can look back and remember all the crap that I got myself into.

First of all lets go with the quotes of the week, countdown of the top 5:
#5- are you Jewish? You look Jewish
#4- Bar Manager:Do you have bar experience? Me: Yes.... Well, I own martini glasses and alcohol
#3- Me: Hey Pizza Hut, do you deliver to North Melbourne? Pizza Hut: Yes. Me: Ok, I want a large meat lovers, no ham to 17 Flemington Rd. Pizza Hut: Not now, we're closed. Me: Well then why did you say you delivered? Pizza Hut: Fuck You
---30 seconds later---
Me: Hey Pizza Hut, are you Open? Pizza Hut: No, sorry. Me: FUCK YOU!
#2: Australian Girl: So do all Americans really hate your president? All of us: YES
#1- mmmmmmm WOMBAT!

Now perhaps a bit more detail....
#5- are you Jewish? You look Jewish
So this entire week was called "re-O Week" and was put on by the staff by the building that I live in RMIT Village- if you have time check it out (http://www.rmitvillageom.com.au/), its a lot sweeter online, but still pretty awesome. However the "heated pool" could stand to be a bit hotter, just don't go skinny dipping or everything has an overwhelming tendency to shrink.... right thomas?

Anyways before I sidetrack myself back to the story. We go to re-O week, first night is a welcome BBQ which was a really sweet way to meet all the new people. Then later that night was a comedy show which only goes to prolong the sterotype that australians are better kept hunting croc's and left off of the show, but were all pretty hammered from some actual BEER pong and an endless supply of goon. So it was a pretty solid night. The next night was a Kareoke night where we got to see endless bat mitzvah reunions on stage to baby got back, don't stop beleivin, and Its Tearin Up My Heart, none of which were preformed by mr. Scholtes considering he has no tits, and he is just plain creepy. The next night, which is where the story stems, was a "pub" crawl. I had my one and only class that day until 8 that night, so we headed over around 9ish to join the crawl that began at 730. We hung out for a while, met some more people, and then as I was drinking, some girls pop outa nowhere and says "are you jewish? you look jewish." Turns there are a few Jews in the greater Melbourne area, but they are just all Americans from Los Angelos. Anyways that made for some good conversation and more and more rounds of beers I end up getting back and falling asleep to the office at 4am. The next night was game night, which unfortunately we decieded to pass on and make our own "game night." This was a sweet night. We met up with my friend Joy's friends from her club lacross team and we went to a few different bars, met up with an old HS friend of mine who is apparently living in Melborune for work oddly enough, and then capped off the night w/ a few $16 cigars and pleanty of pictures. And that wordy summation of a jewish girl form LA is the basic story of re- O week.


#4- Bar Manager:Do you have bar experience? Me: Yes.... Well, I own martini glasses and alcohol
Next on the list of weekly event is #4. So after serving "Mitch-a-paloozas" to the 'BECx2Mers' and the rest of Cumberland freshman year, Chocolate Martinis to Vagbox, Ferrari, and the LaPlata kids sophomore year, and finally, Cosmos, Rum and Cokes, and endless cocktails at my personally financed bar Junior Year, I have gotten a job as a real live bartender, in a real live bar right in the center of Melbourne. The bar is called Yak- its got a sweet martini lounge, enclosed private back lounge, restaurant seating, and a full bar at my disposal (definitely check it out www.yakbarfood.com.au/). Its a fucking awesome story- so that guy that I met back at UMD that I told most of you about that was studying abroad at UMD last semester but actually goes to RMIT... well he and I met up for a sandwich Wednesday after class. We grabbed food in downtown Melbourne and I mentioned to him that I was tryin to get a part time job at a bar, just to meet some locals and make some cash, plus I've always wanted to work behind a bar where I didn't supply my own liquor.... So he said let me take you to the place I bartend on Fridays, I think they might be hiring. So we swung by, had a few cups of coffee and the manager comes in, asks me if I have any experience, I say yes, of course referring to my 3 month stint as an ice cream server at Swensons in Rio, and then my long lived summer job at CPK where I worked 2 nights a week.... as a host. But of course I had my own bar so I figured, what the fuck, how hard could it be. The first night you would think it had 50 cent rails. It was packed like fe on a Thursday night. With 3 bartenders + me, I'm like wtf did i sign up for. So they had me walkin around pickin up emply's for an hr, washin out some glasses for another hr, and both for the last hr (this is all before 9pm btw....) But by 9pm, they put me on the bar. Hit on a few drunk aussies, made a few ingenious mitch cocktails, catered to the rich suit happy hour crowd, and served $18 martinis all night long until 2AM. Its a sweet bar, great people, and pays very well. I wish you all could be out here so I could get you drunk off $7 'Scooters' aka Pints. The only bad thing is, the same way we have American sayings like "gotta make sure to cover all the bases," or "order up," Australians have 100+ more that I have never fucking heard before in my life. So after making a version of a kamikaze shot after someone ordered a skinny cap, when all they wanted was a Skinny Cappachino, and giving someone a vodka coke when they asked for a soda and vodka (soda is tonic water.... not coke), and doing a slu of other what appeared to be idiodic actions, my manager laughed, pushed me aside and did a lot of it himself- but aside from that, it is really awesome.

#3- Me: Hey Pizza Hut, do you deliver to North Melbourne? Pizza Hut: Yes. Me: Ok, I want a large meat lovers, no ham to 17 Flemington Rd. Pizza Hut: Not now, we're closed. Me: Well then why did you say you delivered? Pizza Hut: Fuck You
---30 seconds later---
Me: Hey Pizza Hut, are you Open? Pizza Hut: No, sorry. Me: FUCK YOU!
#3 Is just really funny, and hilarious if you were there, but since you guys weren't since you all suck in the US, and it happened during re-o week, I'll tell you another story. But for the record....for all you New Yorkers-pizza there is absolute dog shit compared to what it is here. It is gourmet for the cost of Papa Johns, absolutely unbelievable, and worth paying $11 for any day of the week-sorry to burst the New York Bubble everybody, especially Robbie.

Now onto the other story. This weekend, after classes and drinking we decided to explore more of the city on Friday. So 2 close friends down here, Thomas and Joy, went to an amazing place 5 miles south of Melbourne called St. Kildas. In case you haven't stared at Google Maps all day, like myself when I was bored at work last month, Melbourne is in South Australia, about 30 miles from the beach, but only 5 from this huge lake. St. Kilda is build on this lake and reminds me of Hilton Head, only nicer, with more bars and more resturants. So we headed off the the lighthouse, the scenic boardwalk, and saw some friends of spongebob only to be called starfish by thomas. We then headed up about 10 blocks to this HUGE stretch of about 10 more blocks with shop after shop and bakery after bakery and burger place after fish and chips place after everything possible you could ever want. We got the best cheesburger I have ever had down there, an amazing chocolate cookie, and deep fried churros dipped into a chocolate fountain of fat and orgasms in the mouth- shot out to gruber. This place is unbelievable and a great way to start the weekend. I will definitely be going back.

#2: Australian Girl: So do all Americans really hate your president? All of us: YES
There is also no real story here- just that Australians hate Bush just as much as we do-sweet... Oh and apparently they think all cops sit around and eat donuts all day while the rest of us eat McDonals.... guess stereotypes sure do leak through the media.

#1- mmmmmmm WOMBAT!
Finally, the best quote of the week, which also has no story is mmmmmm WOMBAT! Thomas saw a 5lb stuffed Wombat in a souviner shop and went to town cuddling this oddly shaped creature. It was full of randomness which basically sums up this blog.

Plenty of random stories, hundreds of pictures (which are all on facebook), and endless memories. Nothing here could ever be like what I have back at home and in College Park, so PLEASEEEE gimme a call on skype, send me a message, or w/e- keep in touch, 4 months is a long time away and I want to keep connected to the people that I know will be there when I get back.

Thanks for reading and have a great week. Until next week, or the next time we talk online...

Mitch